Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Remembering George Carlin

Twice yesterday, I got out of my car just as the radio was announcing, "Coming up on NPR, remembering George Carlin." Both times, my mind completely misinterpreted the "remembering" portion of that statement and I imagined the following conversation taking place in the NPR studios:

Remembering George Carlin

(Dignified Yet Earnest Voice 1) Are we set for our picnic?
(Dignified Yet Earnest Voice 2) Nearly so. Is there enough pasta salad?
(DYEV1) Well, who's going to be there?
(DYEV2) Bunch of comedians... Penn and Teller, Seinfeld, Don Rickles... that other guy.
(DYEV1) What other guy?
(DYEV2) You know... he made fun of words.
(DYEV1) I have no idea who you're talking about.
(DYEV2) He swore a lot.
(DYEV1) Everyone swears a lot.
(DYEV2) He did it second.
[Long uncomfortable silence.]
(DYEV1) Wait, was he they guy who went down on a trucker in "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"?
(DYEV2) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah... George something....
(DYEV1) Carlin! George Carlin!
(DYEV2) That's his name, George Carlin. Good job, we remembered George Carlin.
[Pause.]
(DYEV1) He's dead now.
(DYEV2) Is he?
(DYEV1) Last night.
(DYEV2) Oh.
(DYEV1) Yeah.
[Uncomfortable silence.]
(DYEV2) Well, he doesn't need any pasta salad then.


George Carlin: one fucked-up, pissed-off, motherfucking, cocksucking, shit of a cunt... tits.

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