Red Wings: Final Round, Final DOOM!

Well, it's my last chance this season to predict doom for my beloved Red Wings. Last round, it was pretty facetious... come on, Chicago? Brian Campbell as a real-life defenseman? Please. But it was Patrick Sharp that provided them their only win.

But this round is different. The Wings are real beaten up now. The Pen(i)s have grown up a little. Most importantly, that whiny rat of a coach they had last season got s***-canned, which is a massive improvement.

Predictions? Well, I'm great at those. Datsyuk and Lidstrom play at 90% or better, Wings win, 3 to 2 odds. Otherwise, Pen(i)s win, 11 to 9 odds.

Often the Aluminum Foil Hats Can Come Out in Significantly Fewer Steps

From P.H.D. Comics

DOOM! GLOOM!

It's almost time for Round 3 to begin. I nearly forgot to predict doom and gloom for my beloved Red Wings.

DOOM! GLOOM!
Patrick Sharp!

Jury Duty

The Sarcastic Weasel is set to do his patriotic duty as a citizen of this great democracy by making himself available for selection as a member of a jury pool in his local district court.

I wonder if I have time to get this made into a shirt...

Important Disclaimer: All comments made by the Sarcastic Weasel on this blog are for (his) entertainment purposes only; truth is always a secondary concern. In no way does the Sarcastic Weasel condone the wanton shirking of legal responsibilities nor his own persecution... that is, prosecution for contempt of court.

NHL Cruelty

It sucks to be a Sharks fan this time of year.

It sucks more to be young and dumb enough to video blog about being a sharks fan this time of year (which, during the playoffs, apparently involves copious, uncontrollable weeping on your webcam).

It sucks even more to have a dad who knows you shouldn't be doing this sort of thing on the internets, but doesn't quite understand how his role in the video simply causes the ridicule to be bigger, faster, and more meme-ish... meme-esque... meme-tastic... whatever.

http://www.americanhockeyfan.com/2009/05/i-understand-viewpoint-of-everyone-in.html

Also related: Play Him Off Keyboard Cat, Explained; Make your own.

NHL-Musical Theater Quote of the Day

"Watching the Stanley Cup playoffs on Versus is like watching a community theater production of "Les Miserables." The source material's emotional potency and the magnetic qualities of its aesthetics make it, at a minimum, eminently enjoyable.

Then some local dentist comes on stage, sings "Master of the House" like Wilfred Brimley with a bran muffin stuffed in his mouth, and you suddenly remember you're not exactly on Broadway."

Puck Daddy on Yahoo sports blogs.

Academicese

I have recently described my new baby as such:

"The new baby is (to me anyway) a very unique, non-stationary, non-linear, real-time stochastic control problem. I am scouring the literature on this topic, but most of the studies I find report highly anecdotal results with little to no proofs or optimizations. I understand that it is a problem that one works on for a number of years before receiving much in the way of recognition or funding."