The Sarcastic Weasel, as you all well know, is COMMITTED to making elections as free and as fair as humanly possible. Therefore, with regards to the recently closed "Name the Forthcoming Sarcastic Weasel Offspring" poll, please remember that we cannot trust the apparent (and obviously skewed!) preliminary results that have been tabulated by biased, mean, and unreliable computers!
A manual recount will most certainly be required before I can certify the results.
Please be assured that my manual recounting techniques will conform to my highest standard of ethics and integrity. Voter intent will be deciphered in a non-partisan and wholly transparent manner. Votes from IP addresses that are more likely to vote for my favorite result will NOT be given ANY kind of preference (except, of course, in clarifying, after the fact, any votes that were obviously made by confused senior citizens who did not understand the complicated ballot... or voters who were clearly underrepresented due to their reliance on antiquated ISP technologies... or other votes that just don't seem right because obviously most Americans agree with me and meant to vote for my favorite... yeah, that should about cover it).
In the end, I promise you that we will have a result that everyone (who matters) can feel proud about, and does justice to American style democracy.
Stay tuned...
Monday, November 10, 2008
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