The Sarcastic Weasel, as you all well know, is COMMITTED to making elections as free and as fair as humanly possible. Therefore, with regards to the recently closed "Name the Forthcoming Sarcastic Weasel Offspring" poll, please remember that we cannot trust the apparent (and obviously skewed!) preliminary results that have been tabulated by biased, mean, and unreliable computers!
A manual recount will most certainly be required before I can certify the results.
Please be assured that my manual recounting techniques will conform to my highest standard of ethics and integrity. Voter intent will be deciphered in a non-partisan and wholly transparent manner. Votes from IP addresses that are more likely to vote for my favorite result will NOT be given ANY kind of preference (except, of course, in clarifying, after the fact, any votes that were obviously made by confused senior citizens who did not understand the complicated ballot... or voters who were clearly underrepresented due to their reliance on antiquated ISP technologies... or other votes that just don't seem right because obviously most Americans agree with me and meant to vote for my favorite... yeah, that should about cover it).
In the end, I promise you that we will have a result that everyone (who matters) can feel proud about, and does justice to American style democracy.
Stay tuned...
Showing posts with label pseudo-democracy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pseudo-democracy. Show all posts
Monday, November 10, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Vote Today
On this sacred day for democracy, do not forget to do your highest duty for your country... for indeed mankind and VOTE... in my Name the Forthcoming Sarcastic Weasel Offspring poll.
Clear your cookies if you want to vote again. I'll allow your vote no matter how fictional your name is.
Clear your cookies if you want to vote again. I'll allow your vote no matter how fictional your name is.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
You May Now Vote
The Name the little weasel poll is now open.
Please bear in mind:
a.) The poll is only to choose the blog pseudonym for the forthcoming kid, not to select its actual real-life name.
b.) The Sarcastic Weasel has already narrowed the field to winnow out any suggestions that are overly biologically graphic (i.e. yucky and not fun to type).
c.) The Sarcastic Weasel reserves the right to hold a super-selective manual recount (using his own rules) of votes from areas more likely to vote for his favorite results. No court (whether Supreme or lacking tomatoes and sour cream) will be allowed to intervene.
d.) Cook County election rules apply regarding number of times you may vote. If you can game the system, vote all you want.
e.) Anyone confused by the butterfly ballot format, is way more confused than they think.
f.) Vote for more than one option if it pleases you. Voting for all of them is nice too, but somewhat defeats the purpose of voting (just like selective recounts).
g.) Any rules not spelled out in advance will be made up by me when they become necessary.
Please bear in mind:
a.) The poll is only to choose the blog pseudonym for the forthcoming kid, not to select its actual real-life name.
b.) The Sarcastic Weasel has already narrowed the field to winnow out any suggestions that are overly biologically graphic (i.e. yucky and not fun to type).
c.) The Sarcastic Weasel reserves the right to hold a super-selective manual recount (using his own rules) of votes from areas more likely to vote for his favorite results. No court (whether Supreme or lacking tomatoes and sour cream) will be allowed to intervene.
d.) Cook County election rules apply regarding number of times you may vote. If you can game the system, vote all you want.
e.) Anyone confused by the butterfly ballot format, is way more confused than they think.
f.) Vote for more than one option if it pleases you. Voting for all of them is nice too, but somewhat defeats the purpose of voting (just like selective recounts).
g.) Any rules not spelled out in advance will be made up by me when they become necessary.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Help Name the Official Kid of the Sarcastic Weasel
...not in reality, but for the blog.
As "Official Kid of the Sarcastic Weasel" is a pain to type a lot, I need something shorter to refer to him/her/it in posts and comments in the future. And with good fortune, there will be many future opportunities to post comments, as child fabrication progresses.
Submit your ideas in the comments section of this post. Submit as many time as you wish. The Sarcastic Weasel reserves the right to counter-suggest potential names for people posting particularly unflattering suggestions.
The suggestions that I like will be rounded up into a poll for voting so that, at a leter date, I can ignore the votes and pick the one I like best (it's kind of like democracy!).
Ready... and... GO!
As "Official Kid of the Sarcastic Weasel" is a pain to type a lot, I need something shorter to refer to him/her/it in posts and comments in the future. And with good fortune, there will be many future opportunities to post comments, as child fabrication progresses.
Submit your ideas in the comments section of this post. Submit as many time as you wish. The Sarcastic Weasel reserves the right to counter-suggest potential names for people posting particularly unflattering suggestions.
The suggestions that I like will be rounded up into a poll for voting so that, at a leter date, I can ignore the votes and pick the one I like best (it's kind of like democracy!).
Ready... and... GO!
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