Monday, May 26, 2008

Chipmunk Carnage

Well, this post was originally to be titled "Chipmunk Hattrick" in honor of Ophelia's three chipmunk kills yesterday, but today she added a 4th, which is starting to get out of hand.

I'm not real happy with the local chipmunk population which has, in the four years we've been living in the neighborhood: chewed their way into our soffit and run around the attic for all hours of the night, chewed through two sets of venturi tubes and one set of hoses on the gas grill, chewed holes in my air filter in my old car, stashed a bumper crop of acorns in the engine of my wife's current car, and... well, that's about all I can think of at the moment. But that's a lot of stuff. But even I am beginning to think that the cat has gone far enough.

The progression of our reactions to chipmunk slaughter went roughly as such:

1st Death:
"What does she have?! Don't let her take it inside!"
(Sliding door slams shut.)
"That's so cute."
"Good kitty."
"Good kitty."
"Go get the camera."

2nd Death:
"Holy crap! She has another one!"
"Look at her go!"
(Sliding door slams shut.)
"Is it still alive?"
"No... well, yes, sort of."

3rd Death:
(Feminine scream)
"What? No way!"
(Sliding door slams shut.)
"She put it down, bring her in."
"I think it's still alive."
"Yeah, it's recovering. Chase it off the deck"
(Sliding door open and closes.)
"I scared it off. I don't see it any more."
"Is it gone?"
"I guess. I don't see it anymore."
(Next Morning.)
(Feminine scream)

"It's still on the deck! It didn't go away."
"I'll get it."
(Sliding door opens and closes.)
"Did you get it?"
"No it went and hid in the rail again. I see where it went this time."
(Live trap is fetched.)
"Give it time to come out. It's way back in there."
"Can the kitty go out?"
"I guess. She can't possibly reach it there."
(Five minutes pass.)
(Feminine scream)

"She got it! She got it out!"
"Is it still alive? Take it away from her."
"No, it's dead."

4th death:
"You're kidding."
(Sliding door slams shut.)
"She stays in now."
"Here comes the neighbor cat."
"Good. Maybe he's hungry... There's such a thing as too much excellence, you know, kitty!"


Amanda said...

You posted a video of it?!!!
That's just bad. Sick and bad. Bad weasel.

Next time Arthur kills a spider, I'm going to name it after you.

The Really Sarcastic Weasel said...

If you listen closely, that chirping in the background is a really pissed off squirrel watching from the trees.