Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Fear the Flying Octopus Juice

Apparently, the NHL is incapable of cracking down on charging, boarding, blade-stomping, and head-hunting. But fear not, they're protecting the players from that most hazardous of hazards during the playoffs, and by that, I mean flying octopus juice.

For anyone who somehow is not aware, fans of the Detroit Red Wings enjoy a rather quaint custom of hurling octopuses (octopi? spell-check seems to think octopuses) onto the ice to intimidate opposing players. I think the logic is, "we're an old enough team to have odd traditions dating back to the early days of the league, fear us!" The eight legs of the octopus symbolize the number of playoff wins required in the old, smaller NHL to claim Lord Stanley's cup (today you need some kind of strange mutant octopus with 16 legs... or maybe just solder two of them together, I don't know). Whatever the logic is, its fun to know that some enterprising young miscreant smuggled a 20 pound bundle of slime and blubber into the arena (probably in his pants) for the sole purpose of hurling it on the ice. Then Al Sobotka, the head ice keeper at the Joe, comes out to pick it up and triumphantly fling it around over his head as he removes it from the ice. Good times for all.

Apparently though, opposition players have been horrifically maimed and injured by flying octopus juice as the critter twirls through the air. So now, facing league imposed $10000 fines, Al must meekly sit and watch as the linesmen (or more often, opposing players) deal with our eight-legged friends (somehow, this $10000 fine does not apply to Avalanche players that throw the things back into the crowd... the NHL never really did like it when people tried to watch their games though, that's why they show them on VS).

Anyway, the seven or so remaining NHL fans are saddened and have banded together to inundate the league with what is certain to be a stampede of petitions (half-a-dozen, by now, I'll bet). You can have you voice heard too (well, not voice, since it's text based... and not yours, because it's a form letter... but you're an activist! dammit! You will be heard!)

Sign the Free Al for the Playoffs Petition.

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